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out of words

i don’t know where to begin. all i know is that a familiar feeling is back. staring at nothing for periods of time, inability to do accomplish the simplest of tasks without struggling at every step, the vague and numb expression in my face when someone asks me if i’m ok. it’s back, i don’t know what to do.

i want to snap out of it, i know i can – i’ve done it before; countless times. this rollercoaster of emotions that becomes more difficult to control as i lead this resemblance of a life that i think i have. a life of regrets, frustrations, desires that seems impossible to achieve, plans that never pushes through, underrated pleasures that one can no longer fool oneself about; it’s a pain to be in this side of the fence. the side where all the bad things are larger, more dreadful, and more powerful than you want them to be.

i don’t want to be here. let me out of here, please.

Categories: others
  1. Reynach
    April 11, 2010 at 9:23 am

    We still feel lost sometimes because once again make ourselves the center of our lives. Whenever that happens let Jesus take the wheel again and you’ll be ok πŸ™‚

  2. April 13, 2010 at 6:27 pm

    reyna tama ka, as in SOBRANG TAMA KA! πŸ™‚ salamat friend. pero tapos na yan, moments i guess – tao lang. i sometimes miss that feeling, yung zeal ng bagong Christian. pero i know in my heart God is allowing me to learn and find the best way i can serve and worship him using the blessings He has given me, yung hindi totally i-erase yung essence ni ANGEL dahil being ME is the best way I can please Him. i’m learning, and i know God is slowly leading me towards that deeply personal relationship with him. πŸ™‚ ikaw kamusta na?

  3. Reynach
    April 14, 2010 at 11:12 am

    Haaaay eto busy-busyhan sa bagong work! Mas grabe pa kesa nung mga panahon ko sa accenture. Everyday struggle kaya lagi ako takbo kay Lord at the end of the day. If not for Him I would always feel like i’m hanging by a thread everyday..kaya feeling ko narerecharge ako every sunday eh kse may praise and worship tsaka sharing with my discipleship group hehe. Nakahanap ka na ba uli ng Christian community mo jan? Do you still read the bible everyday? You should, it takes a lot of effort at first, parang exercise lng yan, you’ll get used to it hehe..15mins a day lng of quiet time, swak na yun πŸ˜‰ Whenever I have doubts or questions God never fails to answer me everytime I read the bible πŸ™‚

    Si noel pala singles for Christ na, ayan 2 na kayo sa fwenships na ka-sharean ko hehe πŸ™‚

  4. April 14, 2010 at 1:40 pm

    i’m not reading the bible as much as i want to. at dati ko pa pinapangarap matapos ang mga cs lewis books ko. lately i cant find the time to do it since halos lahat ng alone time ko ay na-convert to aral time hehehe. nope, wala pa din new church and baka umalis ulit kami sa kinakalagyan namin, bahala na si God πŸ™‚ buti singles for christ na si Noel ang saya naman! at least kapag nagkita-kita tayo, hindi na puro kalokohan, well, onting kalokohan nalang hehehe

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