Home > others > so sad i can’t breathe

so sad i can’t breathe

that’s what i feel now. i envy the rhythmic snoring generated by my baby. she’ll cry, feel frustrated sometimes and a bit irritated. but before the day ends she’ll drink her milk, hug her luvie, kiss me good night and she sleeps peacefully without any hint of sadness and discontent. why can’t we stay innocent all our lives, expecting nothing yet wanting everything like a child. i wish i was a child inside a big bubble drinking my milk and holding my luvie as i listen to the music that fills my air. i miss being happy. i miss being satisfied. i miss knowing i am worth the space i consume. i miss living. i want to stop dying. i want to wish my life away. if only i could do that, maybe i’ll find what i’ve been wanting all this time.

Categories: others
  1. Jen
    December 6, 2010 at 10:16 am

    This describes exactly how I feel eveyday of my life. It takes so much energy to try to pretend you are ok for eveyone else.

  2. December 7, 2010 at 7:43 pm

    I know what you mean Jen. I once read/heard somewhere that the one thing adults neglected to tell younger children, was how sad life can be. Of course there are merry moments to live for, but the sad ones are really – decapitating. Like now with my kid, I try to put on a happy face all the time because she can detect the smallest hint of sadness or disappointment, even at 2. Maybe this changes when we’re 60 and have nothing else to live for but to be grateful … well, at least that is what i hope for.

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