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fear – a prayer

October 3, 2007 Leave a comment

i was listening to the podcast of in touch ministry last saturday and chanced upon dr. charles stanley’s discussion about this loathsome topic that creeps in our minds when we really need it the least. he categorized fear into different avenues like fear of poverty, being alone, lossing love and other variation of this famous human past-time.  he is right for doing so – and i can find a box where i could adequately fit the fear that i have in me based on his categories. when i was listening to him speak last saturday over my ipod, i was relieved to shut these feeling in its respectful places with the thoughts he has left me: i was chosen to be with God, and my God is the God of ALL, nothing is impossible with Him who loves me.

and now after a few days, the tip of those boxes are opened once again and i could feel the nearing chill of the things that it contained. why can’t words be enough? why can’t God’s promise be enough for these weak minds that we have? why can’t we just close our eyes and be still?

everyday that i read my bible God’s miracle works. because for some unknown reason i always stumble upon His Word that directly speaks to me. before being a christian – i never understood what “they” say that the bible speaks something new to you everyday; now i know what “they” mean. but despite these daily small miracles i stumble and crawl to the ground in worry and in fear of the things that i do not know – of things that are not stable. i cry in vain hoping it will all end soon; desperate for mercy. i do this despite the fact that i know i should not claim for protection but for strenght to endure it all to the last drop; for it is thy will that i do so.

cs lewis noted at screwtape letters that acts pertaining to the future most often ends in sin. fear, ambition, lust are just a few of them.  fear if you really try to think about it is equivalent to unknown. there is no real fear because it is a feeling attributed to something which is not yet there, or may not be there at all. and as humans it is so easy for us to invoke this emotion – rather than its exact opposite. which is Faith.

Hebrews 11:1   “Faith is being sure of what we hope for, and being certain of things we do not see.”

if you read chapter 11 of the book of Hebrews, the bible enumerated the men and women whose faith in God helped them through times of the unknown and instability. and like heroes of a story they inspire you to do the same – to have the same faith just as they did. though also as heroes you begin to doubt and wonder that maybe i am not cut-out for this. i am just me, a small me. i am not Jacob, or Moses, or Esther – i am just me moving in my own little world of impossibilities. how can i do the things that they have done?

but then you realize – you are reading it the wrong way. it was never YOU. it was never THEM. David did not kill Goliath because he was strong and was an experienced sling shot master. Moses did not successfully lead the people of Israel to the promised land for hundred of years because of his diplomatic nature or unique leadership abilities. Paul did not establish the early Christian church because he was such a good public speaker and a charismatic person. they succeeded not because of THEMSELVES, but because of the grace and the glory of God who was working through them. and we – His children, are entitled to the same grace and manifestation of glory that these heroes of the bible received.

i know this. but the human in me forgets. and everytime this fear creeping in me takes faith out of its destined pedestal of my being – i need reminding. reminding that the Holy Spirit i’ve accepted lays with me, in my thoughts and in my sleep. it is constant, is here forever and is for my claiming if i will it. with all the strenght in me i claim God’s promise in our lives. a path that is straight, a path according to His good and perfect will. and as i stand up again after this stumbling, i’ll brush my knees, fix myself up and continue to walk on to the road which will lead to my deliverance.

Philippians 1: 19-20 ” Yes I will continue to rejoice for I know that through prayers and the help given by the spirit of Jesus Christ, what has happened to me will turn out for my deliverance. I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death.”

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