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gaining weight sucks.

growing up as the chubby kid provided me with numerous recollections of being teased because of my excessive baby fat. “Hindi mo na kailangan ng salbabida Angel, lulutang ka naman eh!”… “Yung bunso ko, hirap paka-inin, itong panganay ko si Angel, naku, hirap pahintuin…”

i have always loved food. it is my earliest pleasure. i remember wishing there would be celebrations all the time at our house so that my dad then would prepare his famous embotido (which to this day, i never dared to copy). one of my earliest childhood memories (and believe me, i cannot remember much …) was my lola buying me a cup full of vanilla butter-cream (back then local bakeries sold them in plastic cups) while i use my baby spoon devouring this buttery goodness.i could still eat a plateful of rice (when nobody’s looking…) as long as i have my favorite chicken and pork adobo – cooked my way of course – by my side.

so i’ve always loved food. it is the main reason why i cook as well as i do. so that i could eat the way that i want to eat. which brings me to the fact that loosing weight has always sucked for me. i have always (and i mean always!) been overweight. it was only for a few moments back in college did i had the strength to not eat whatever my heart desired – i was down to 113lb back then, at 5’2. but still during those times i felt fat. well that’s me, forever the chubby kid at heart.

whenever i look at magazine spreads and see how the new shorts or my favorite empire dresses fits those skinny models, i say to myself , “they do not eat spicy chicken wings, deep fried spring rolls or fudgy chocolate cake. do you want to stop eating those too??”

NNNNOOOOO!!!

i had a “gym phase” about 2 years ago, which lasted for a year. this helped me go back to my current weight of …. asa pa! as if i’ll publish it here!!!! but that was last year. now, i run every few months (hehehe, as if that would help…). well i walk ALL THE TIME!

anyway, i think the point of my writing this blog – is to remind myself of the resolution i have discovered before … that the only way i could continue the way that i eat and still keep my slightly overweight figure (i will always be overweight. this is a fact) is if i put on a little regular exercise here and there.

so…it’s 8am. a relatively sunny day…why don’t i change and …. bake a new batch of cream-cheese brownies?

i remember watching a movie once with meryl streep in it, where the setting was that they were in Heaven to be judged. and since it was Heaven, they could eat anything they want…and it will always be the BEST they have ever tasted and they will never gain a single ounce of weight eating it.

HAAAAYYY!!!

but ’til then …. heels?

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