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Archive for March, 2007

i should be writing about something i know…

March 21, 2007 5 comments

maybe at least about my recent new york trip. but i just can’t! everything was sooo perfect immortalizing it using my elementary skills as a writer will ruin it for me. i know, i made such a big deal about it posting my itinerary weeks before…well the pics are at my multiply site (right side of the main page)…and that is all anyone could squeeze out of me now. plus the fact that i just have to go back. probably by fall. central park would be amazing by then.

i had another snake dream yesterday. the last time i had one i was about 12years old with no mental pictures of a big snake provided by hollywood since this was during the pre-anaconda (movie) days. so my big snake back then was a cobra with a really flat head and long tongue. he (or she) appeared out of nowhere while i was simply squatting at a concrete floor (i was also about 12 in my dream) and by one reflex action he (or she…) bit my arm. i could still remember up to this day the vision of that big cobra biting my arm – it wasn’t painful nor was i afraid when it happened. it was as if i was watching everything and felt apathetic over what was supposed to be a frightful scenario. and just like all dreams it started as soon as it ended.

yesterday’s dream was different. it was long and eventful. and the snake this time was a really really big one similar, or maybe even bigger, to the anacondas in the movie (which i only watched once years back, i wonder if the real thing are as big as those). i think it is just logical to assume that i will be frightened of a snake, even if it is just a small one, once i see it in real life. but in my dreams i was not afraid. i avoid it, i try to outsmart it, i knew it was dangerous – but i was never panicky-afraid. plus i think my dream yesterday was a lucid one. most of my dreams are like that. and in color. though most of them i couldn’t remember a few minutes after waking up. i have a very very active dream state nowadays. i didn’t before – but maybe because my mind is “free to wander” now, dreams just flow loosely.

anyway, i don’t want to get into the details of this recent one. all you have to know about it was that we (yes there were a few people with me; francis was there, a few americans who appears to be shipwrecked in an island with us as well as a goblin-orc-like gatekeeper who helped find our hideout) survived the big snake by not moving a muscle as it crept above our still bodies lying beneath a rock-cave formation. i could still remember how heavy it felt as the snake passed by me. and yes it bit me again (though anacondas don’t bite right? they swallow…) by my right palm. my eyes were closed when it happened and when i opened them i didn’t see the snake but the goblin-orc-like figure gnawing at my arm – so i wasn’t sure if it was the snake or the goblin that bit me. a lot of things still happened after that, a lot of scene changing just like in most dreams that seem to run in circles with events repeating in a disorderly manner, most of which i have ceased to remember. as i have said, it was a long and eventful dream.

and yes i have googled “big snake dream definition” already and have read a dozen articles about it ranging from interpretations from christian doctrines (snake = evil), freudian (snake = penis) to asian-african (snake = wisdom / rebirth / new beginnings). i will never know what it really means of course. probably that is how “these” stuff are made.

but this morning as i was on my way back to church i can’t help picturing this big snake, comical yet a little scary, following me around richmond for no reason at all. i don’t know why i was subconsciously yet somewhat consciously doing that. i wasn’t afraid of it. like – it was just this big thing that was there, behind me.

ok now i’m scared. 

need to tap my courageous dream-persona before i sleep.

Categories: others

at 28 (6 months from now)

March 8, 2007 Leave a comment

a friend of mine just turned 28 a few days ago. another close friend of mine will also step unto that path by tomorrow. in a few months i too will join their dreadful company.

however, jack is on her last year as a Philo phd student at NUS. brian has been working in smc for the past 6 years and has gained substantial financial capital in the form of 2 cars and a house in tagaytay. me? well … hhmmm.

 not much really.

3 jobs for the past 5 years. my last stint at smc would have lasted a lifetime (i think…). found true love and married him! but had to leave comfort-zone manila and move to richmond. 5 years in college (3 majors, 3 campuses, for those who didn’t know..) which i rarely used since i worked in marketing after graduation and have grown to live (not love) it. i love cooking, took a short course a lifetime ago. but a culinary degree is…well…i don’t know, seems impractical at this point.

28 and no major achievement really. i took this pop psych test months ago and it was quite an eerie experience since it noted that my major personality flaw is that i tend not to finish what i start. which makes sense really, reading from my life’s abridged summary above. and if you consider the fact that my only true goal in life is to travel…well, everything seems to, in a sinister kind of way – fit in its right places.

am i contented? hell no.

am i happy?

happy is too strong of a word for now. let’s start with … pleased.

Categories: others

mood swingers

March 8, 2007 Leave a comment

yup i changed the template. the title of this one i grabbed from wordpress’ site is “almost spring”. i think it’s perfect. the minimalist treatment, the white background, the orangey and lime green hues i’m learning to love…

gone are the days of the grey.

to new beginnings…

Categories: others

the calm before the storm?

March 2, 2007 Leave a comment

i’m a little scared.

the past few weeks have been good. kiko had 2 consecutive presentation-fridays (the day when all graduate students in his lab are judged  mala american idol elimination day) of praise and glory by the menacing yet ultimately profound dr. hadis morkoc, his adviser/mentor. my mom bagged a new accounting job with the ceasar’s hotel and casino. my brother…well he’s not doing good really with the situation he is in right now (it’s not my life, i therefore can’t write about it..) – but i have this distinct feeling he could make it – unscathed and a better person. me…i’m enjoying my artifacts documentation job at the science museum. and as long as these 3 people that i love with all my heart are happy, i’m happy.

so why am i scared? well, in every storm there is a moment of calmness before everything goes into a chaotic madness right? or is it the other way around?

 yeah, i think it is … storm first, calm after – just like in the wizard of oz (or those twister movies if you’re from the 90’s genre).

so there is nothing to worry about! i’m now living in the “calm” part! 

sign reads: pandemonium not in eminent future!

but then again…entropy. now that’s a law we can’t beat.

there is this filipino saying that when you have this lingering thought (a kutob) or dream about a person – once you have told someone about it, the kutob or dream won’t happen anymore. as if you have failed to keep a secret pact of sorts, spoiling the “thrill” of it all.

let’s just hope blog stats reaches a high mark soon…

Categories: others