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a vacation from life

as i have repeatedly stated before, not working is a drag. but please understand, i’m not being a “Puzzle” here (remember the donkey in Narnian books?) – who complains and accepts his own foolishness but has never really tried to remedy it. i did try to find work – and was semi-successful at doing so. the biggest cookie company in Richmond, VA wanted me for a market analyst job, (biruin mo, nabola ko ang mga loko…) but the US Immigration just didn’t allow it. “Wait for next year”, they say, as if waiting is something i should be happy about.  There weren’t any commitments given to me for next year, but at least i know there is a chance of success, somehow.

so for the meantime, i have been accustomed to find ways to efficiently waste my time. yes i could go back and be a volunteer – but the way i see it, i owe it to myself to first do the things i have longed to do when i was painstakingly working my ass off in corporate manila. as to my calculations, i should be looking for another job come December 2006 getting ready for the fierce competition for those pricey H1B visas by 2007. so i had 3 more months ( i got the rejection last August, 3 mos after my arrival here) to give myself a break.

so to justify, (to myself, to friends, to others who may find it difficult to understand why i am the way i am right now) i have no intentions to turn this hermit-style of a life as a permanent way of living. 

(i remember when i made the decision to shift from pharmacy to food tech, one of the reasons i did so was because i would like to have the time to read more – thinking food tech was an easier course. well, after a few months of being buried with chemistry, calculus and food science classes, realized that next time i assume something, a little research is essential.)

during those days that i work for 10hours (including birthdays!!), stressed-out to my witts, deliberating while trying to sleep why i am responsible for the things i have assigned myself to be responsible for – i have dreamed of this life!

a life where i wake up by the time my eyes open without hesitations (i haven’t used an alarm clock for the past 5 months, after a lifetime of waking up with one), i reach for my 2nd fave escapist toy (the laptop) while holding my 1st fave (latest book of choice) whom i turn to if the 2nd proves to be a waste of precious lingering moments, after which i plan my experiments for the day, a.k.a. lunch and dinner. in between i watch those mini series that i have missed, i.e. dawson’s, ER, seinfeld; while also enjoying what American cable has to offer to keep up with the pop culture of my time – studio 60 (which i love with all my heart!!), grey’s, top chef, project runway (which i miss..) plus i have successfully thought myself a new hobby (please view flickr page on your right) and is currently trying to adopt one (listening to sidney bechet as he plays his sax for “blue horizon”) … and oh, i almost forgot! i need to plan that trip to the grand canyons …

now that my 3 months of vacation would soon be over, my inner slacker is trying to desperately hold on to the life she has dreamed of for the longest time. but all vacations must end, with a heavy-heart, yes, but also with a sense of accomplishment. i have given myself a break. i may have been forced to the ground to do it, but what matters is i’ve done it. the old “responsible and practical” me will soon take over, in a few weeks at least.

i still have some time left.

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Categories: others
  1. ianjay
    November 23, 2006 at 3:54 pm

    your dilemma is your life is too good… waiting or not, you have no bad choice to make– you want either… or both lives.

    musta na? 😉

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