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turning points

1. ever since i could reasonably answer the typical grown-up question “what do you want to be when you grow up?” i’ve always wanted to be a doctor. blame parental influence. i took BS BIO as my 1st course (note the 1st) dreaming of being able to attend medical school someday. funny but i’ve always imagined that i will love being in med school but sincerely doubted if i’ll like being a doctor. after a year in UP, i decided to give up on the dream, shifted to PHARMACY and eventually to FOOD TECHNOLOGY which, i foresaw, was more practical then. my family was in financial slumps, and as much as my mom refused to let go of the dream (even if we starve to death just to pay for tuition fees) – i had to set my foot down and decide for us. i needed a course that would allow me to work as soon as possible while maintaining that slight chance of still going to med school (if in case finances would clear up). well, it never did. so i worked a few months after graduation in the first job that offered me a 5-digit salary and forgot all about the glory dream of wearing that  noble white robe.

2. working for my first job was a blast. that 5-digit salary doubled in six months and continued to increase as the president-owner of the small company i worked for took me under his wing. i was given all the things fresh graduates could only dream about, a 40k salary per month, an SUV (and it won’t hurt to mention that it was a CRV-limited edition), topped with company-paid training in Germany and travels to Paris & Amsterdam. i was being groomed, and all eyes were on me.  eventually, i tripped. and it was all downhill from there.i was a fish out of water, struggling all the time to stay alive. whenever i look back to analyze what happened – why did i stop “being really good” – it always ends up to the fact that i didn’t know enough at that time, and i was expected to know. it came to a point that struggling to keep myself alive in that lion’s den didn’t seem to be the best of ideas, and i gave up. sometimes i wonder, would i be “better” if i stayed in the ball game? i am at a point in my life when i still couldn’t give a final answer to that question.

3.  one evening of again being bored out of my wits while refusing to study for another exam, i checked the land of anonymity for some descent conversations. we talked for about 5 minutes, he was in a hurry. before leaving though, he pulled out a jedi-mind-trick on me and got my number. a few days pass, emails to and fro, just like all the emails my inbox have received before. i was reading through sophie’s world one night when i received a text. he wanted to know how i was, and if i was busy. he was about to go to one of his research labs (he had 3 at that time) which had a phone, and he was wondering if i could give him a call through there. i was really enjoying my reading and didn’t want to be disturbed. text messaging back then was not a reliable way to reach people – i thought of denying that i have received the message and continue with my pleasent, hassle-free evening. then i figured, talking to this guy would surely not take THAT long, it would be a simple “hi, hello – glad to meet you – hey i’ve got to go i hear my mom calling me”. so i called the phone in his research lab. and we talked. and talked. for hours. then we met. and talked some more. for days. and all the years that followed.

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